She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize