i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
