What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
