You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
