so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it hurts more in the daytime
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
