Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
