i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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