she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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