apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
