buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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