He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
