Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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