when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize