if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
