he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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