Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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