That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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