Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
