I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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