the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
