I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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