Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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