I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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