Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
