I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
