You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
