god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
