hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize