he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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