well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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