Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
