just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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