i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
