I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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