is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you had me at cake vodka
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize