Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize