Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
