No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
