I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Bring me that man meat
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
