I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
