You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
