he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I understand Curling. That high.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
