i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
