i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
