Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
