you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
