we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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