can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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