i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
