Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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