it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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