you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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