well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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