The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
