We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
