i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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