I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
