There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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