My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this boner is exhausting
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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