evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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