If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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