ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
