why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
