You're my little dorito
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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