I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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