I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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