i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
