all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Houston, we have a blender
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
