i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
